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Jul 27, 2016
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Sure , but the only thing she does is pose and smile with her eyes closed , like your avatar. You're absolutely smitten with her , despite just standing there with her sweet smile. As time passes , you decide you've had enuf of that smiling and posing.You end her mockery of an existence .Then you wonder if you've done the right thing. You commit suicide from despair. :(

I wish I have a Ps4
 

Pandagnome

Kaiju Slayer
Fart Siege
Welcome Wagon
Happy Kaiju
Jul 27, 2016
7,730
10,079
113
Island of Tofu
you have a ps4 and played it so much that it starts to glow you assume its a new feature. So you continue to play until it disintegrates.... :( the company has offered you
Sony headphones and a poster of their CEO as compensation

I wish for a personal transport pod to take me to the toilet when ever it is required!
 

ble003

Commander
Aug 7, 2016
1,207
744
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your "free copy" is pirated. there is also a virus.

i wish for the ability to transform any item or entity so that it fits a specific theme, and the ability to reverse that transformation. i can do this as much as i want with infinite range and no line-of-sight-requirement, and with no direct ill effect to myself or the target. targets retain the same function and rough shape as they did before, all changes are superficial. (medieval-theme or retro sci-fi-theme objects for costumes, hell-theme prospective US-presidents)
 
Oct 12, 2016
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you became a paid player in some cheap chinese knock-off mmorpg and you can never leave it considering you're their highest paying player and the game is owned by a chinese mafia. You are now stuck with hardcore level grinding and getting marriage proposals ingame from doritos eating neckbeards and you are forced to listen to their proposals despite how disgusting and creepy they sound for the rest of your life.

I wish for the next elders scroll game to be released now.
 
Jul 26, 2016
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Sure , but everytime you use it , it teleports you straight into the toilet bowl , head first or your feet in it.

I wish I can play a free copy of Mount and Blade Bannerlord
hmm ... it seems 2 people responded to you. So I guess I will respond twice.

your "free copy" is pirated. there is also a virus.

i wish for the ability to transform any item or entity so that it fits a specific theme, and the ability to reverse that transformation. i can do this as much as i want with infinite range and no line-of-sight-requirement, and with no direct ill effect to myself or the target. targets retain the same function and rough shape as they did before, all changes are superficial. (medieval-theme or retro sci-fi-theme objects for costumes, hell-theme prospective US-presidents)
You get the ability but you can only use the ability while using your pinky toes to hold a chrome ballpoint pen and paper to describe what you are doing.

I wish for a grilled cheese sandwich.

you became a paid player in some cheap chinese knock-off mmorpg and you can never leave it considering you're their highest paying player and the game is owned by a chinese mafia. You are now stuck with hardcore level grinding and getting marriage proposals ingame from doritos eating neckbeards and you are forced to listen to their proposals despite how disgusting and creepy they sound for the rest of your life.

I wish for the next elders scroll game to be released now.
Sure but you can't play it because the game is coded to crash everytime you attempt it.

I wish for a soda to accompany my grilled cheese sandwich wish.
 

Pandagnome

Kaiju Slayer
Fart Siege
Welcome Wagon
Happy Kaiju
Jul 27, 2016
7,730
10,079
113
Island of Tofu
your wishes have been granted you love this grilled cheese sandwich the soda is not half bad either.
2 suspects have violated your foods and soda as you go to the door and finally return all that is left is pieces of cheese
leading to a tiny hole in the wall :O

i wish for a go go gadget feet to kick my nemesis from far
 
Likes: SomeUnregPunk
Jul 26, 2016
1,461
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Unfortunately the gadget also dislodges your feet from the rest of your body. One of these days the devs of Go Go Gadget is going to test their equipment before release.

I wish for tiny cat that could catch those 2 suspects that violated my beloved food and drink.
 
Likes: Pandagnome

ble003

Commander
Aug 7, 2016
1,207
744
113
your great grandmother is now a tiny cat.

i have an unfavorable impression of humanity today, so i wish everyone got an anti; like the opposite of soulmates. similar people with important and interesting differences that put them at odds with the other. these are already a thing, but almost nobody would meet their anti in the past and now they start doing so because wishing. (so no increase to the world's population)
 
Likes: Pandagnome
Jul 27, 2016
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Some ppl manage to get along with their anti , but only a handful. Some quarreled and fought with theirs , and the world is now in disarray due to the fights. Some ppl found out that it was you who made the wish for anti, and they resent you for it. they hunt you down and burn you , thinking that you have dabbled in demon magicks. Your anti smirks and savours your death.

I wish Mount and Blade Bannerlord lives up to its expectations
 

ble003

Commander
Aug 7, 2016
1,207
744
113
mount and blade bannerlord is a game and unable to expect anything, it makes your computer implode when installed unless you are a youtuber or streamer.

i wish for all the equipment of the boss of the second level in intrusion 2(cyborg/android lady with grappling hook and huge gun that is also a rocket-bike). it all fits my body, works like in-game, has infinite ammo and doesn't pollute.
 

HumanTrainingBot

D-Gater
Ark Liege
Oct 26, 2016
52
73
18
All the equipment fits your body and works just fine, but the gun is too heavy to lift. You can use it as a rocket bike, but it kills everyone behind you. As soon as you use it, you're on a wanted list.

I wish for a lifetime supply of food.
 

ble003

Commander
Aug 7, 2016
1,207
744
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your genitalia are now so large that when cut off and cooked or fried they will contain all the nutrients a single human being needs to live for 100 years. this is extremely inconvenient, and extremely painful to actually make use of.

i wish for the ability to upgrade electronics to the newest equivalent model by touching them with my feet.
 
Likes: Rocketeer593
Oct 12, 2016
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you now have tastebuds that are 1000x stronger than your tongue on your feet. Also you will never forget the taste of anything you touched with your feet. Your feet also became deformed so no shoes can fit you. You're now forced to be barefooted with tastebuds on your feet. Good luck in life my friend.

I wish that I never get fat regardless of how much junk I eat.
 
Likes: Pandagnome

Pandagnome

Kaiju Slayer
Fart Siege
Welcome Wagon
Happy Kaiju
Jul 27, 2016
7,730
10,079
113
Island of Tofu
your wish is granted you eat anything you like but have not taken into account the amount of poops you make
you have pooped so much that you are left sore this is big trouble!! Your washing machine has had its days
the toilet has blown up and everything is a pile of poop oooh my what have you done pooh bear !!!

you sleep and a pile of poop has collapsed on top of you in the winter months you are frozen in a poop form until the day comes
for someone to break you out of the poo curse.

I wish for eyes that can relay all info from x-rays, ultra violet, infared and so forth!!!
so that i may see things and stop CRIME with my new abilities!
 
Jul 27, 2016
1,565
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Noble intentions.....but words are wind. Your new found abilities shock and astound you when you acquire them . You stop a few crimes , like a vigilante. But , you discovered that you could see through women's clothing and you have a raging hard on all the time. Your hard on becomes so obvious that ppl began to be suspicious of you. Eventually , a woman calls the cops on you. You are caught , and your abilities are discovered. Long story short , you are imprisoned for your entire life , and they perform inhumane experiments on you to push the boundaries of your power. You regret being a perv.

I wish I have all the useful knowledge in the world.
 

ble003

Commander
Aug 7, 2016
1,207
744
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you have, in the form of books. your place of residence is now made entirely of books. if you memorize those books, you'll know everything useful. the first title you read is "x-rays don't work that way, dumbass"

i wish for shoulder-tentacles that i control.
 
Likes: Rocketeer593
Jul 27, 2016
1,565
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(i know x-rays don't work that way , but he said : " ....infrared and SO FORTH" That could mean other abilities connected to visions. Apparently I was having dirty thoughts. Just clarifying)
You use your powers wisely for your own gains .....such as pickpocketing and other simple deeds. You start simple to get a feel of your tentacles.Eventually your horizon broadens and you even become a vigilante , stopping crime using the unnatural strength of which your tentacles possess. During your different sessions of love making with women , you utilize your tentacles well enough ;) But eventually you draw the eye of the government and they hunt you down. They capture you and dissect you :(

I wish I have a GeForce GTX 1080
 
Likes: Rocketeer593

Pandagnome

Kaiju Slayer
Fart Siege
Welcome Wagon
Happy Kaiju
Jul 27, 2016
7,730
10,079
113
Island of Tofu
ooh its a new shiny box could it be.... yes a new graphics card you open up and there behold is the graphics card gtx 1080
you put it in your machine and after a few minutes of fiddling and getting it running tada its humming a nice hum.

Your machine begins to take off this is splendid!!!! There is a something that catches your eye outside so you go out to investigate hmm it moved very fast your thoughts of what it could be a vampire rat or some miniaturized ufo that had squeeky mechanical parts??

Anyways you had enough of outside its time to play GAMES!!! to your horror your computer is replaced with a

set

Huffing and puffing and stamping you calm down after several hours
play with duplo man set the end?

I wish for all the time in the world controlling time so i can power nap more and do more things during my time
 
Likes: SunderPlunder

ble003

Commander
Aug 7, 2016
1,207
744
113
time is now up and down. the directions up and down. [your age in years/the age at which you would otherwise die=your height in millimeters/x] - you become older the higher your highest point is above sea-level and younger the lower it is. if you are more than x meters above sea-level or go below sea-level you die. you no longer age normally, and you can accelerate and decelerate your experience of time as you want. changing your experience of time will affect your experience of light and gravitons, so for example when you slow down light will blue-shift and become brighter and gravity will affect you more strongly.

i wish for absolute power over honesty.
 
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