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ble003

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Aug 7, 2016
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you learn everything you want; your true desires for life, the universe and everything. all your choices so far have brought you farther from them. your abiity expires. maybe you become a monk or something.

i wish for the ability to automatically summon sandbags full of candy that get in the way of attacks against me. they disappear after one minute, including the candy after consumption. the bags are airtight and the insides are perfectly clean.
 
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ble003

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Aug 7, 2016
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grummz becomes president not in this election, but in the next one; beating bernie sanders, jill stein, gary johnson and someone else.

i wish for the ability to transfer kinetic energy between objects
 

Biz

Member
Kaiju Slayer
Jul 30, 2016
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After a landslide victory as write-in third party candidate Grummz, without even as much as nomination, is forced to into oval office by popular pressure. After a long and sleepless night and a lot of liquid courage he comes up with his presidential platform that in short allocates most of the discretional spending on research and development of FTL drives, nano machinery and exosuit technology. After a successful first term in which injectable nanites revolutionize healthcare and effectively cure all that may ail a human, he is re-elected for the second term again without even running. Having been emotionally distraught by his own inability to lose ratings and be voted out of office, he attempts to make an ultimate fool of himself by pretending to be a captain of the experimental FTL spacecraft during its maiden voyage, inadvertently punching a hole in the space-time continuum, breaking the time and simultaneously unleashing celestial purple fog of doom onto the earth.

Writing that made me wish for working FTL drives, practical exo-suit tech, and medical nanites.

P.S. Damn it... should have posted sooner... Alright...

Transfer of kinetic energy seemed like a good idea until you realised too late that objects must be identical in weight and composition. Much smaller object from which kinetic energy was transferred would inevitably lose ALL of its kinetic energy, including movements of its atoms and begin to absorb kinetic energy from its immediate vicinity. As object you tried to use quickly approached state of zero entropy, you realise that your hand is flash frozen onto it, rest of your arm and now your shoulder are having all of the heat sucked out. As you look on in horror you barely have enough time to utter OH SHI... before turning into a human popsicle.

Still long for a time when I can haves some FTL drives, practical exo-suits and medical nanites.
 
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ble003

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Aug 7, 2016
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aliens use ftl technology to teleport medical nanites together with their own spawn into humans, transforming us into exo-suits.

I can haves some practical exo-suits?
no, biz, you are the exo-suits.

i wish for a mini-fridge.
 
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ble003

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Aug 7, 2016
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you get Dungeon Crawl: Stone Soup. You can auto-fight boring enemies by holding tab, auto-explore by tapping o and auto-wait by tapping 5. enemies don't respawn outside of summons, and summons don't give rewards. of course, enemies get harder the deeper you go and if you die you have to restart. since you are a fan of firearms i would suggest starting with a conjurer, because their starting spellbook gives you a single-shot attack, a charging laserbeam, an explosive attack, a delayed indirect-fire explosive attack, and a drone that shoots extra single-shot attacks at things you attack. tengu progress the conjuration-skill fastest, and if you live long enough they also get fast movement for kiting. the best god for a conjurer is vehumet, just look for runed tombstones that glow blue.

i wish for the ability to turn on and off the flammabiliy of different materials.
 
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SunderPlunder

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Jul 27, 2016
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Sure , but the potency of your awesome ability is higher than you imagine. You decide to try on some stacked gas tanks , and they instantly explode, killing you :(

I wish all your ridiculous wishes wouldn't make me laugh until my stomach hurt XD ( everyone's wishes in this thread is ridiculous , not just yours , but i had a good laugh)
 

SunderPlunder

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Jul 27, 2016
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You do , but you did not phrase your wish properly. You can detect traces of cancer in reddit posts , twitch chat and even this forum. You eventually embrace the cancer and become psycho.

I wish I'm Snorlax so I can sleep as long as I want and beat up others who disagree with my sleeping schedule.
 
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ble003

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Aug 7, 2016
905
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people keep opening roads through where you sleep. car roads.

i wish for the ability to stand on moving vehicles like in just cause
 

ble003

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Aug 7, 2016
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bethesda were right.

i wish for the ability to charge any action by holding a dramatic version of a suitable readied pose for at least one second.
 

SunderPlunder

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Jul 27, 2016
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Whenever a person does a dramatic version of an action which is also suitable for them and readied for at least one second , you charge unreasonable amounts of money from them. Ppl are angry and they beat you up. You die from a concussion :(

I wish Rockstar wouldn't toy with my feelings by releasing a shitty red rockstar logo.
 
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Ammara

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Jul 26, 2016
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Overhype towards simple logos/presentations will often lead to disappointment, for the red-Rockstar logo is nothing but your dreams dying as the double-agent James Bond one-shotting them into a red bloody image... Just like how No Man's Sky shot some people..

I wish for Ember's demo to be out by tomorrow :p
 
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SunderPlunder

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Jul 27, 2016
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Ember's demo is out tomorrow , but graphics are shitty , controls aren't fluid , the game does hiccups every now and then . You get angry and smash your com , vowing never to trust Mark Kern's promises and play his games. ( Grummz , if u r reading dis , I'm sorry.It was mean't as a joke. Pls dun terminate my acc )

I wish I get to play Mass Effect Andromeda
 
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Pandagnome

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Jul 27, 2016
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Island of Tofu
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You have turned into doomguy you go to a party and before you realised it you set off your bfg 9000 and have blown up the whole place including the cake.

I wish i owned the real life version of super mario kart, including all circuits and all those karts!
 

RickR

New Member
Oct 15, 2016
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you fell of Rainbow road and there's no respawn since you said "real life"

I wish for a real life Mai (refer to my forum avatar)
 
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