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ble003

Well-Known Member
Aug 7, 2016
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#1
same deal as on the firefall forums, but here. i'll also make one for "throw me a bone".

each player is to write a way in which the wish made in the previous post can be granted, that amusingly subverts the intent of that wish. bonus points if it's thematically appropriate, ironic or a good pun. also bonus points for providing visual reference. bonus points aren't tracked by any known power on this earth. it is unknown what purpose they serve.

i wish for an awesome exoskeleton.
 
Likes: SunderPlunder
Jul 26, 2016
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#2

The chairless seat is an exoskeleton that provides factory workers a comfortable seat that moves along side with and doesn't take up much of the factory floor.

I think it's awesome. You might not think so but since I'm granting it...it's an awesome exoskeleton.

I wish for macaroni and cheddar cheese in a wooden bowl with a wooden spoon.
 
Likes: Pandagnome

SunderPlunder

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Jul 27, 2016
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#4
Sure , but the gun is faulty as fck , and as soon as u put bullets in it, the gun blows up and shrapnels ruins yo face.

I wish i get to eat bacon forever and ever
 
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ble003

Well-Known Member
Aug 7, 2016
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#10
you wake up one day, knowing that you will be killed by a car in a year on that day. you try to tell people, but they think you are crazy. your parents become concerned, giving you increased attention for a few months before giving up. you become depressed and stay in bed staring at the ceiling, maintaining only the absolute minimums of hygiene you can imagine for yourself. one year later, you step out of your home in the evening and wearing dark clothing. you sit down in a poorly lit part of a highway and wait for death, quickly falling asleep. there's been an accident and the direction you're lying on isn't being used. when you wake up, it's past twelve. you didn't die. you see it as a sign try to get your life in order, but you can't. left without a future, without even a present, you commit suicide by hanging. you do it right, and die from your neck snapping rather than from strangulation.

full disclosure, i cried a bit while writing that. while we're on grim subjects.

i recently discovered the music of tom milsom through welcome to nightvale. i then discovered that he had been abusive towards an underage girlfriend. i wish that tom milsom retroactively never has nor will ever commit or be accused of any crime the local equivalent of myself considers more serious than shoplifting, in any universe.
 

ble003

Well-Known Member
Aug 7, 2016
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#13
the only work you can get is either standing around or evil

i wish for the ability to turn off collision between objects (touch one object with each hand, mental activation, these objects can pass through each other at any time until they aren't inside each other and i decide they shouldn't anymore. an object is a set of molecules with a mass of up to ten tons, that if the force of gravity disappeared couldn't be separated by a force of one newton pushing at them from any direction)
 
Likes: Rocketeer593
Jul 26, 2016
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#15
you get your abilities, but you can jsut use them 1 minute and then you got to take a break xD
Your wish is granted. I don't why you would want that but it's granted it's too bad that you didn't remember to post your wish... so you may never know that your wish is granted. Well.. that is until that thing you wished for decides to stop watching you while you sleep while lightly petting you. It certainly got enough claws and tongue girth to do something aggressive.

I wish for ice-cream.
 

ble003

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Aug 7, 2016
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#17
you will now never wish for anything, a shell of a human being.

i wish for precisely the haircut i want.
 
Jul 26, 2016
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#18
And you'll get it after you die. The mortician that works on you will be praised for his talent in reconstructing you perfectly to your wishes.

man, I think I'm getting too dark here...

I wish that everyone will enjoy eternal happiness.
 

ble003

Well-Known Member
Aug 7, 2016
939
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#19
now everyone is happy all the time, nothing ever changes, and when we die... have you read hardboiled wonderland and the end of the world?

i wish for everyone's noses to grow by 0.1 millimeter whenever they lie, counting each person who hears it as a separate instance. noses return to normal by one millimeter per day, and you can save up to 0.5 negative millimeters that don't actually affect nose size(if your nose is its normal size, you can lie five times before it starts growing).
 
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