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ble003

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Aug 7, 2016
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flies also try to stay a maximum of 1.5 meters away from you at all times. flies probably do something useful, and they probably can't effectively do that if they can't leave you. also when you're moving, the flies fly so you can't see.

i wish for great skill at commerce, without sacrificing any skills i already have or making new skills harder to learn.
 

Pandagnome

Kaiju Slayer
Fart Siege
Welcome Wagon
Happy Kaiju
Jul 27, 2016
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Island of Tofu
Your wish is granted the flies would no longer bug you as they annoy everyone you know and because of this even flies on poop cannot enjoy their usual turd fest. The flies have one thing to say bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Meanwhile the ants now have free access to food hoorah they are carrying your food as i type this!

I wish for this fish to be in-charge of America
 
Nov 3, 2017
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Dogs and cats fear no bangers, In fact Dogs and cats now fear nothing at all and throw themselves into any and all confrontations with no concerns for their own safety, decimating the population worldwide.

I wish these and/or those walls could talk.
 
Jul 26, 2016
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She exists but since there is no magic in this world, her amoral nature lands her in prison for life without parole in solitary confinement.

I wish I didn't read up on that character to fulfill that wish.
 
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Jul 26, 2016
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Sure. But they are all made by Silencerco. They later sell their company to the chinese who start flooding the market with cheap and expensive versions of the Maxim 9 just like how they are doing with Rigid, Milwaukee & Ryobi. (All owned by the same company and is literally putting out the same product but with different price points based on the name used.)


I wish I had more time to do stuff today.
 
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I wish I had more time to do stuff today.
The Earth now rotates at half the speed it does now, causing days and nights to be twenty four hours long instead of twelve. The increase in the number of hours in a day results in every other work shift to be in complete darkness as humans still need to sleep for about six to ten hours after about fourteen to eighteen hours of alertness.

I'd "wish" for Family Guy (TV show on Fox) to be permanently canceled and replaced by something less stupid that also isn't a spin off of Family Guy.
 
Nov 3, 2017
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Family Guy is now cancelled everywhere forever, sadly this raises the show as a martyr to others and soon it is held as the highest form of televised art ever achieved. It's replacement is one episode of the Bold and the Beautiful repeated forever.

I wish all state level conflicts across the world were settled with Dinosaur Deathmatchs
 

ble003

Commander
Aug 7, 2016
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all state level conflicts across the world are settled by striking a match and wishing for a meteor to strike the opposing side.

i wish for an insect mouth instead of my mouth. it has to be able to clean itself and let me eat anything a human can eat, with the same taste-experience and without making a mess. it also has to let me speak, sing and whistle like i can now, and when i'm not using it i want to have the same jawline i have now (it can be made of mandibles, though).
 
i wish for an insect mouth instead of my mouth. it has to be able to clean itself and let me eat anything a human can eat, with the same taste-experience and without making a mess. it also has to let me speak, sing and whistle like i can now, and when i'm not using it i want to have the same jawline i have now (it can be made of mandibles, though).
Anyone that watches you eat thinks you are a giant alien roach disguised as a human and proceed to take photos of you eating, which they post to social media. This results in mass panic and paranoia as people believe that there are more giant alien roaches among the general population faster than the government can remove the evidence from the internet, and the government kidnapping and performing a live autopsy on you. The government does uncover the truth that you are just some sort of incredibly rare abnormality that is not a threat to humanity, but not before you die on the table after an excruciating experience and total anarchy among well developed countries has occurred as people have become simply incapable of even small amounts of trust.


People who are paranoid are instead rapidly become generous and selfless geniuses over a period of a week, without those that are currently geniuses becoming paranoid, less intelligent, evil, or acquiring new phobias.
 

ble003

Commander
Aug 7, 2016
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being paranoid causes those enhancements, and they realize this. being so selfless, at least some of them try to share by giving everyone cause to be paranoid. they make robots that have skin like a terminator, except they copy the appearance and behavior of people so well you won't know unless you have a somewhat deep conversation with them, and whenever someone lets their guard down near one of the robots it slaps them with a paper fan and runs away.

i wish for all humans to have the ability to ninja-vanish, leaving a cardboard cutout with a design of their choice and teleporting to a location of their choice within 100 meters, twice per long rest (at least six hours of sleep within nine hours). the cutouts disappear when the ability recharges. the ability automatically activates whenever they would have bones broken or vital organs pierced.
 
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Success! all of humanity has gained the ability to replace themselves with a cardboard cut-out when receiving critical injuries. This ability is usable twice per 6 hours sleep and has a wide variety of customisation options. However humanity doesn't know this and looses the ability to distinguish between a person and an elaborate cardboard cutout leading to a sharp decline in long term relationships as people suffer from the whiplash of suddenly having a loved one die the seemingly come back to life with major injuries. Over time romance as a whole dies out entirely leaving all relationships as mere shadows of what they are today.

I wish that sapient life on earth had the power to pause time for a moment, (during which they are immobile) take a deep breath, and chill out before time resumed.
 

ble003

Commander
Aug 7, 2016
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we get that ability and can use it indefinitely, but don't have to use it to chill. this means robot soldiers can never truly take over for human soldiers, test times don't mean anything, and getting visibly embarrassed is completely avoidable. most conversations play out like choreographed banter, and those who don't bother to plan out what they say are branded lazy or stupid. most stories from before we gained that ability will seem to be about the mentally handicapped. i have a character who drinks tea to stall conversations so she can plan; a cool repeatable way to show she's cunning, but human. that's not special anymore.

i wish for the ability to control cloth i'm touching. i have an intuitive sense of the cloth's position and movement relative to me. i have a sense of touch through it similar to the skin on the inside of my current hands, but when it's damaged i know that without getting any sensation. per unit of mass, it has about the same strength as my current legs.
 
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ble003

Commander
Aug 7, 2016
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it's filled to the brim with china.

i wish for the ability to set the heartrate of any heart i know exists in bpm by thinking i want to do that. it will maintain a steady beat at that exact frequency for a period of time i specify in seconds, then the beat is allowed to change naturally. i can override previous uses by using the ability again on the same heart.
 
Jul 26, 2016
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Everyone's heart is replaced by a artificial one that you can wirelessly control. Unfortunately you are now a heart monitor and control device that only uses it's abilities under the control of various medical professions around the world.

I wish for a plate of fried chicken and steamed broccoli.
 
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ble003

Commander
Aug 7, 2016
1,207
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charred fried chicken and charred steamed broccoli is softer and lighter than rock, so it's pushed to the surface. small volcanoes of charred fried chicken and charred steamed broccoli appear all over the american plate. also sinkholes of not that. it becomes the traditional food of satanists. that's my best guess as to what would happen if the north american continental plate was made of fried chicken and steamed broccoli.

i wish for the ability to merge any two objects that are made to be identical so they become an otherwise identical object with twice the volume, and split any object into two otherwise identical objects with half the volume.
 
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