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third arm

you get a printer that can print on thin slices of brain alt: other people are figments of your imagination alt: everyone are actually robots alt: everyone else are actually descartes. turns out it was only him thinking, until you came along. i wish for the ability to temporarily meld with...

mechanical leech

mechanical implants

death butt

snake lady (you know, i had a dream about darth sidious count dooku working for and then betraying a reptilian tv-station)

you gain the ability to repulse all things from yourself at all times. the location you're in explodes, then you suffocate. i wish for the ability to make other people deploy icebreakers

deadly kittens

you meant bad as in cool, right? i wish for the ability to repair things by punching them (like people and drawers, not just machines)

reckless pacifist

pacifist run

run right

dumbledore

penguin revolt

lumberjack-elemental

an ork with powerbocks and a flamethrower

knitting club

in five years, bannerlord will be infamous for being everything that is wrong with free-to-play. i wish for the ability to issue hadiths, without any responsibility

untold horrors