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Sure but now it's highly likely to get injured prior to and after dodge-rolling.
I wish my back pain would attack someone else today.
I wish my back pain would attack someone else today.
Likes:
Pandagnome
you see a new neighbour moving boxes and get annoyed by the noise they are making as they move in the delivery people cannot let go of the box and have been eaten by the box. You are the only person living among many boxes and soon get bored and curse your own object and turn into a box.
I wish for inflatable rubber duck rings to be made mandatory to all at work
I wish for inflatable rubber duck rings to be made mandatory to all at work
the propeller on your HE 100 now has the same mass as every part of a normal HE 100 except the propeller, and the rest of your HE 100 now has the same mass as a normal HE 100 propeller.
i wish for the ability to adjust the hardness of pillows and mattresses with my mind. this process neither transfers parts of me into what i'm adjusting, nor transfers parts of what i'm adjusting into me.
i wish for the ability to adjust the hardness of pillows and mattresses with my mind. this process neither transfers parts of me into what i'm adjusting, nor transfers parts of what i'm adjusting into me.
You gain the ability to regulate pillow/mattress softness at will but all pillows and mattresses gain sentience and flee your presence
I wish all my clothes were self cleaning with no effort on my part.
I wish all my clothes were self cleaning with no effort on my part.
Likes:
Pandagnome
Your wish is granted your clothes clean themselves and for sometime it goes well until it mulfuntions and cleans the house with nothing left inside but your self cleaning pants and top!!
I wish to rub my ear lobes and make those who cause problems to float away endlessly all the way back to the south pole
I wish to rub my ear lobes and make those who cause problems to float away endlessly all the way back to the south pole
you now have the ears of the alligator nearest you and it has your ears. you need to go there if you want to use the ability. also, they float so slowly most die before they get there.
they use the nearest washing-machine, and most don't like doing so together.
i wish for a titanium cup which is gold-plated on the inside, that can hold up to PI deciliters. it has a thermos lid that's also titanium with gold on the inside, that's sealed and can be unscrewed. it also has a handle like a knuckleduster that is always perfectly sized for my hand. while the cup is more than half full it makes everyone who sees it or hears it and aren't holding it by the handle feel like they drank its current contents all at once an hour ago (so alcohol makes people drunk while they see it, coffee makes them invigorated, ect.). this effect ends when it's emptied or when they hold it by the handle. this effect only affects the mind and sensations. the cup is not invisible, inaudible, fragile, or heavy, does not empty itself unless the holder wants it to, and does not make the holder want to drink from it.
they use the nearest washing-machine, and most don't like doing so together.
i wish for a titanium cup which is gold-plated on the inside, that can hold up to PI deciliters. it has a thermos lid that's also titanium with gold on the inside, that's sealed and can be unscrewed. it also has a handle like a knuckleduster that is always perfectly sized for my hand. while the cup is more than half full it makes everyone who sees it or hears it and aren't holding it by the handle feel like they drank its current contents all at once an hour ago (so alcohol makes people drunk while they see it, coffee makes them invigorated, ect.). this effect ends when it's emptied or when they hold it by the handle. this effect only affects the mind and sensations. the cup is not invisible, inaudible, fragile, or heavy, does not empty itself unless the holder wants it to, and does not make the holder want to drink from it.
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Likes:
Rocketeer593 and Pandagnome
your mouth is now really good at attracting insects.
let's try that again:
i wish for a thermos-cup that makes those who see or hear it experience the world as if they drank its contents an hour ago.
it has no supernatural effect on people who hold it by the handle, which fits my hand.
it's visible and audible.
it's indestructible.
its mass is no greater than 0.3 kg.
it has a volume of PI dl.
it's sealed when closed, and doesn't lose liquid some other way.
it's easy for the holder to open and close, but doesn't open or close unless the holder wants it to.
when it's open, the liquid can be poured out. another liquid can then be poured in to fill that space.
let's try that again:
i wish for a thermos-cup that makes those who see or hear it experience the world as if they drank its contents an hour ago.
it has no supernatural effect on people who hold it by the handle, which fits my hand.
it's visible and audible.
it's indestructible.
its mass is no greater than 0.3 kg.
it has a volume of PI dl.
it's sealed when closed, and doesn't lose liquid some other way.
it's easy for the holder to open and close, but doesn't open or close unless the holder wants it to.
when it's open, the liquid can be poured out. another liquid can then be poured in to fill that space.
You find yourself in possession of the described wunder cup but all liquids poured into it immediately taste like vinegar. the taste lingers on the tongue for days at a time too. even to those who only experience the world as though they drank from the cup an hour ago.
Also please keep the list format it make sorting (and corrupting) your wishes so much easier.
I wish for a sandwich that would always instantly regrow whenever it was down to 50% mass left
Also please keep the list format it make sorting (and corrupting) your wishes so much easier.
I wish for a sandwich that would always instantly regrow whenever it was down to 50% mass left
Likes:
Rocketeer593
the wrong half regrows. you now permanently have a sandwich being digested in your stomach. it's a peanut-butter and jelly sandwich. you must have it removed or you will die from overweight.
i wish for a copy of the best lab-coat within earth's atmosphere.
it is a copy in all ways except it fits me.
i wish for a copy of the best lab-coat within earth's atmosphere.
it is a copy in all ways except it fits me.
Likes:
Rocketeer593
the next person to fulfill your wish is the person who fulfills your wish after the previous person to fulfill your wish. who that is changes constantly, and the effect transfers to that person. eventually, everyone realizes when they get a back-pain they can get out of it by technically fulfilling your wishes. so whenever you get a back-pain, someone angry contacts you to give you one corrupted wish. eventually, someone murders you so you can't have back pain anymore.
i wish plants run java and i have a dongle that lets me wirelessly interface with and reprogram plants.
i wish plants run java and i have a dongle that lets me wirelessly interface with and reprogram plants.
Likes:
Rocketeer593
Your wish is granted as for the vegans and vegetarians its bad news a secret society have formed to counter this and some say they live in the deep jungles of some jungles that is soooo secret no one knows which jungle. The vegan hackers begin to hack away eating the pants but the creatures do too. Your java stills works thankfully but you get many visits from strange creatures and vegetable lovers with digestive issues following you even stalking you.....the sound of farts and burps causes you to have panic attacks at night.
You are now living on the moon with one pet goose it doesn't make as much noise and java is overrated you have great adventures with this goose but there is something missing.... trees!?
I wish to have the most intense stare that a gun wielding assassin/crimminal would stop and go back home before their dinner gets cold!
You are now living on the moon with one pet goose it doesn't make as much noise and java is overrated you have great adventures with this goose but there is something missing.... trees!?
I wish to have the most intense stare that a gun wielding assassin/crimminal would stop and go back home before their dinner gets cold!
your left eye is now a tv-screen showing an amazing action-thriller movie constantly. the movie is on youtube, but only if you search for it. every time someone who doesn't dislike both action and thriller movies looks into your eyes for the first time they'll ask you for the title and then go watch it instead of whatever they were doing because every single frame is just amazing. of course, your eye is a tv-screen with sound. so you constantly hear the movie and you only have one functioning eye.
i wish for the ability to perfectly save chemical states of my neurons and blood (basically emotions and short-term memory)
i save by wanting to save to a specific name.
if i select a name that's taken, it's saved to that name plus a number.
when i save, how full my transmitters are and the composition of my blood are read, compressed and stored in the pattern of skin-cells on the back of my head.
i can save up to 64 states.
when i want to know the names of saves, i remember those names.
i load by thinking i want to load a specific name.
when i load, i select a save by name. the chemical states of my neurons and blood are set to how they were when i saved, as far as possible. that means my body will release or produce the chemicals it can to be like the save, and transfer any chemicals that there are more of than in the save into waste.
saving and loading both take less than half a second.
i wish for the ability to perfectly save chemical states of my neurons and blood (basically emotions and short-term memory)
i save by wanting to save to a specific name.
if i select a name that's taken, it's saved to that name plus a number.
when i save, how full my transmitters are and the composition of my blood are read, compressed and stored in the pattern of skin-cells on the back of my head.
i can save up to 64 states.
when i want to know the names of saves, i remember those names.
i load by thinking i want to load a specific name.
when i load, i select a save by name. the chemical states of my neurons and blood are set to how they were when i saved, as far as possible. that means my body will release or produce the chemicals it can to be like the save, and transfer any chemicals that there are more of than in the save into waste.
saving and loading both take less than half a second.
Likes:
Pandagnome
Congrats, you are now Mother or Father Brain. Package includes complete insanity, both a metaphorical and literal insane level of near god like intelligence, and a metaphorical burning passion for world domination and/or destruction, as well as an equally intense hatred of Samus Aran and Metroids. This also includes the genetic code for cloning fully functional Space Pirates and an almost complete lack of a body (physically you're just a giant brain that can withstand the combined kinetic and thermal energy from the point blank detonation of several simultaneous thermo-nuclear weapons as well as being completely comfortable in the vacuum of space or a radioactive wasteland indefinitely), so good luck pleasuring yourself without mind controlling someone to headpat you, which is now the only way you can achieve an orgasm, even if you integrated with a different body.
Wish for money to no longer be an issue without: A) dying/becoming a corpse and/or an undead creature B) having to work for it or becoming a work-a-holic or homeless C) Undesireble attention, ie scammers/salespeople/golddiggers/paparazzi/murderers/thieves/murder-hobos/squatters, as well as government, national, and international agents D) transform into some form of currency or container E) being cursed/blessed with and/or anything similar to the Midas Touch F) any part/the entire world's economy going haywire or becoming a traditional (barter) market G) greedy or overly generous.
Likes:
Pandagnome
you now passively and untraceably drain the emptiest bank-account from which money can be extracted, that can be accessed by a person within 15 kilometers of you, at a rate of 1 dollar every second. know you have this power, but you don't automatically know whose bank-accounts you drain and it's untraceable to you too. you get the money after a few hours or days, 1 dollar a second on average. in one year, the money'll continue to be drained, but not to you and you won't know where to. you'll have gotten 31557600 plus leapseconds dollars total at that point though.
or you're a snail.
I wish for sarcasm to never be misunderstood with one exception: every thousand years, it will be misunderstood and that misunderstanding will cause a chain-reaction that makes humanity survive and flourish for the next 1001 years. the first of these misunderstandings happened two days ago.
or you're a snail.
I wish for sarcasm to never be misunderstood with one exception: every thousand years, it will be misunderstood and that misunderstanding will cause a chain-reaction that makes humanity survive and flourish for the next 1001 years. the first of these misunderstandings happened two days ago.
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Likes:
Pandagnome and Rocketeer593
Two days ago the last words of the free were spoken. "Oh sure, and the ants will rule us all." A moment passes as everyone takes this seriously. Within weeks world peace is declared as all of humanity unites under the banner of our mighty Queen Ant. Willingly we strip ourselves of our thoughts and desires to better serve her. Individuality is severely punished as humanity embraces it role as mindless servile drones.
All Hail The Queen.
I wish that soap had two clearly distinguished sides. One that cleaned and one that soiled.
All Hail The Queen.
I wish that soap had two clearly distinguished sides. One that cleaned and one that soiled.
Likes:
Pandagnome
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