Cute, funny stuff spam. (No political stuff)

ble003

Commander
Aug 7, 2016
1,207
744
113
got woken up by a fairly good nightmare a few hours ago. it handled the effects of dreaming and lying in an uncomfortable position as effects of a biotech superpower implant that also mind-controls you. examples:
-I try to read something I've found about it on the internet, it's completely blurry (because it's a dream).
-I get in a car with a guy I know is a friend driving, and he roleplays someone else in the back of the car. this is not weird. (because it's a dream)
-I have to think so hard I break the implant (I have a headache because my neck is uncomfortable). it drips in chunks out of my forehead (I actually have a wound on my forehead that aches a bit)
-I have to do paranoid busywork without being sure if it will work, like cleaning up the blood from the implant and making sure my searches aren't being spied on.

some things also happened that distanced it from me, and made it feel a bit like a game:
-it's clearly set in a location I don't live anymore.
-towards the end it goes full camp, and I deliver exposition to no-one in particular.
I've entered a place where there are multiple people who have used the implant a long time. I don't know why. I have to fight.​
I club an anthropomorphic eagle with a traffic cylinder, then someone else makes an animatronic monkey squirt mind-control juice at me. I block it with the traffic cylinder, but some still gets in my face.​
mental exposition: I can only break it by thinking hard once (something about overheating? rationalization afterwards: the new one grows in the hole where the old one was, so it's touching the brain less?).
I have to escape and clean off before I breathe too much of this juice. I start running.​
mental exposition: I have ok stamina because I play football. then I woke up.​
-none of the characters are people I know, including my own.

8/10. good use of medium. managed to stay consistently scary with no jumpscares. forgettable dialogue and characters.
 

Pandagnome

Kaiju Slayer
Fart Siege
Welcome Wagon
Happy Kaiju
Jul 27, 2016
7,887
10,170
113
Island of Tofu
got woken up by a fairly good nightmare a few hours ago. it handled the effects of dreaming and lying in an uncomfortable position as effects of a biotech superpower implant that also mind-controls you. examples:
-I try to read something I've found about it on the internet, it's completely blurry (because it's a dream).
-I get in a car with a guy I know is a friend driving, and he roleplays someone else in the back of the car. this is not weird. (because it's a dream)
-I have to think so hard I break the implant (I have a headache because my neck is uncomfortable). it drips in chunks out of my forehead (I actually have a wound on my forehead that aches a bit)
-I have to do paranoid busywork without being sure if it will work, like cleaning up the blood from the implant and making sure my searches aren't being spied on.

some things also happened that distanced it from me, and made it feel a bit like a game:
-it's clearly set in a location I don't live anymore.
-towards the end it goes full camp, and I deliver exposition to no-one in particular.
I've entered a place where there are multiple people who have used the implant a long time. I don't know why. I have to fight.​
I club an anthropomorphic eagle with a traffic cylinder, then someone else makes an animatronic monkey squirt mind-control juice at me. I block it with the traffic cylinder, but some still gets in my face.​
mental exposition: I can only break it by thinking hard once (something about overheating? rationalization afterwards: the new one grows in the hole where the old one was, so it's touching the brain less?).
I have to escape and clean off before I breathe too much of this juice. I start running.​
mental exposition: I have ok stamina because I play football. then I woke up.​
-none of the characters are people I know, including my own.

8/10. good use of medium. managed to stay consistently scary with no jumpscares. forgettable dialogue and characters.
That reminds me of a nightmare had sometime ago of a woman with long finger nails, it would start of with going to the shop and a lady would talk to the shop owner her nails get longer and longer and impales all the food and goes through the till machine.

So waiting in the line i end up annoyed because the lady with the creepy long nails has damaged the machine. Next thing i know the lady collapses and integrates with the machine she is now a womachine with long nails stabbing with her nails i get as much coins and throw it at her face it does not help she is eating the coins.

when i wake up i see a coin on the bottom of my bed!
coincidence hmmm
 
Likes: ble003
Jul 26, 2016
1,461
2,441
113
44

https://www.amazon.com/Bug-A-Salt-2-0-from-Skell-Inc/dp/B00STSZ77G

It's basically a BB gun that uses salt for ammo.

in case someone actually wants it. Though it has an intended defect. They put a safety switch on the weapon. So you need to flick it off, before you can fire it. The reason I consider it a defect is where the safety is placed. It's not in the best place for ease of use.

So anyone that buys this if they wanted to just pump + shoot instead of pump + flick off safety + shoot would need to drill a small screw into the gun to hold the safety switch in the off position. Or use a hot glue gun, or super glue, etc. Or open up the weapon and remove the safety altogether.
 

Pandagnome

Kaiju Slayer
Fart Siege
Welcome Wagon
Happy Kaiju
Jul 27, 2016
7,887
10,170
113
Island of Tofu

https://www.amazon.com/Bug-A-Salt-2-0-from-Skell-Inc/dp/B00STSZ77G

It's basically a BB gun that uses salt for ammo.

in case someone actually wants it. Though it has an intended defect. They put a safety switch on the weapon. So you need to flick it off, before you can fire it. The reason I consider it a defect is where the safety is placed. It's not in the best place for ease of use.

So anyone that buys this if they wanted to just pump + shoot instead of pump + flick off safety + shoot would need to drill a small screw into the gun to hold the safety switch in the off position. Or use a hot glue gun, or super glue, etc. Or open up the weapon and remove the safety altogether.
This weapon would be good against the kaiju classified as the assault salt weapon!