This was not easy or quick to do..
A long time ago I brought up the need for a media kit (press kit).
I need to know how to describe the game, the goals, the features, etc. The vision book is inaccessible to passive interest and is too verbose anyway. I'm pretty sure the dozens of people I've talked to dropped by, couldn't figure anything out, and left.
In some places I can't link to things for fear of being flagged for spam. At least I can call it em8er for people to search for, although emeighter is a strange name to people. emdasheighter is worse.
The front page doesn't have anything at all, and isn't some of that art wrong? People sit there to see text appear, and I know people won't have the patience for that. Few people will see the links at the bottom, not that special media has any real substance. Some people might see the links at the top. Smart people will click the FAQ. Some of those will see Jun 14, 2017 and not scroll to see the date of last edit. They might think the last update this game has seen was mid 2017. Even I was frustrated by having to click and open a spoiler tag.
The language therein is too verbose.
It is:
Em-8er is a mech verses Kaiju Action-MMO. In other words: Em-8ER is a multiplayer, open world, co-op shooter that pits players against a ruthless, shape-shifting, alien army we call Shifters (known as Tsi-Hu in their alien language). The game is a simulated war where massive battles ebb and flow across the planets surface. Hundreds of players will be fighting at any given time in skirmishes involving mechs, giant monsters, and military bases.
It is urgent to start with single line explanation of the fundamentals. I for one can know if the game is for me by the first sentence, and fluff angers me.
- EM-8ER is a PvE first-or-third person shooter MMO.
I'd normally suggest using "multiplayer" in order to get across "online", but that's covered with "MMO".
Stating PvE is important; it is a term of art necessary for players who want the distinction between PvP and PvE to be clear. I would have passed it it said PvP. I would have needed more information if I read PvPvE or something strange like "co-op", and being asked to do the investigation myself is risking a bookmark-and-forget.
First-or-third both explains and intrigues. The "or" tells people it's optional. Gameplay perspective is something I've been asked about, and describing it in this way has locked in attention.
It would be nice to say FPS, but that's first-person and so "shooter" has to be used.
MMO brings a lot of description and baggage with it. I'd like some way to talk about quests or the lack thereof. Maybe "questless MMO" if that's possible. Yes, I'd also use a made up word on purpose. MMO describes social aspects, and it's important to have a position on groups, guilds and social aspects. Those things would be nice to put in the description elsewhere.
There are two kinds of readers. The first is left-brained and wants the technical breakdown. Those people have been appeased and will forgive a line of "fluff". The right-brained people are by-default forgiving and will skim the sentence to read what they are interested in: The aesthetic and social aspects.
- EM-8ER is a PvE first-or-third person shooter MMO.
- It is a science fantasy open world where players cooperate to fight invading monsters on an alien world.
I have a writing cadence of short-long-short. I earned this complex sentence by starting off concise.
- EM-8ER is a PvE first-or-third person shooter MMO.
- It is a science fantasy open world where players cooperate to fight invading monsters on an alien world.
- Players craft and customize their equipment, building their favorite mobile suits or "frames".
This is still a long sentence, but I chunked it with the comma. Yes this stuff really does matter.
Left-brain will wonder if it is looter-shooter but will understand player economy. Right-brain will see customization and theme. I continue by addressing both. I intentionally mix because these two kinds of players must interact regularly and I set the stage right here.
I actually think the looter-shooter aspect of things really needs to be meditated upon. I've heard significant disappointment about a player-crafted economy. This would have to be justified at various angles, from auction houses to player interdependency. There are many solo players who just don't want to deal with humans outside of group-goals. This is a big problem and ought to be addressed in this paragraph. I simply omit the mention of trading to dodge addressing the problem here.
Saying "mobile suit" is another term of art for a lot of people. Some will read "mobile" as small-scale like an exoskeleton or body armor like Destiny or Halo. Others will read "mobile suit" as a phrase and think Gundam. Both are somewhat true. I think this covers the light/medium frames, but I worry something else has to written to hint at the heavy. I dislike giving new game-specific words to a reader, but I have earned adding the new term "frame" in the reader's mind. It's simple, the two kinds of readers can understand it well, and it creates a tether directly from the game term through the word into the reader's interest. The left-brained know they have arms and armor in a device they min-max and wield. The right-brained know they are a pilot inside a suit they can choose and customize. I'd like a way to more directly discuss pilot skin customization, but I won't do that right away. It's likely that the plural "frames" will pass over a reader's head unless they really wonder about it. I reward attentive readers.
- EM-8ER is a PvE first-or-third person shooter MMO.
- It is a science fantasy open world where players cooperate to fight invading monsters on an alien world.
- Players craft and customize their equipment, building their favorite mobile suits or "frames".
- The game is a simulated war where massive battles ebb and flow across the planet's surface.
That line is great. It teases both kinds of readers. I fixed the grammar.
- EM-8ER is a PvE first-or-third person shooter MMO.
- It is a science fantasy open world where players cooperate to fight invading monsters on an alien world.
- Players craft and customize their equipment, building their favorite mobile suits or "frames".
- The game is a simulated war where massive battles ebb and flow across the planet's surface.
- Play solo, in a group, or join hundreds of players in skirmishes involving mechs, giant monsters, and military bases.
This line was good, but I adapted it because after four sentences of description I will boldly assume the reader will become a player, speak directly to them, and tell them what they'd be doing.
I want to sneak in all kinds of things that describe the uniqueness of the game, but I can't be concise enough to do that. It becomes urgently necessary to VERY IMMEDIATELY show the skin muting concept. Immediately as in right next to this text! It would be a side-by-side of silly and sexy skins on the left, and moderate and themed skins on the right with something like "Don't like holiday hats? Mute your choice of skins to stay in a military themed game."
I think maybe a bulleted list would work well after the above paragraph. The technical-minded will love a quick breakdown of why the game would be different than all the rest.
- Craft and trade weapons and abilities.
- Create your unique loadout and play the way you want.
- Players around the world begin in different parts of a seamless scaled game world.
- Skin individual pieces of your pilot or frame.
- Mute skins you don't want to see. If you don't like silly skins, holiday hats or a plunging neckline, you can turn them off and "stay serious".
- Beautiful and still playable with moderate computers. (specs to be determined, but expect put stuff here - a 1060GT or etc, gb ram etc)
Note that some people think store skins are pay-to-win, but begrudgingly accept this revenue model. They don't forgive tradable skins though.
Lastly, and placed in a separate paragraph, would be another line discussing the meta. It will be perceived as a non-marketing speak line direct not from the developers of the game but the company underneath it. The goal is to be sincere and personable in a landscape where games are operated by greedy liars.
- EM-8ER will be "pay once then play free". It is supported by selling skins which have no gameplay influence, are not tradable and can still be earned in-game. It is not "pay to win", we will not sell "conveniences", or sell tokens for unlocked or enhanced gameplay. Finally, we will never have loot boxes; that is a despicable and predatory practice which is banned in sensible countries for good reason.
----
There is room for improvement, specifically by breaking down the purposes of each sentences and making sure the gameplay loop is described and sufficient tesing has been done. So it would be something like:
- Game classification
- Game genre
- Player interaction with the game
- Solo player value
- Group player value
- Game uniqueness
- Gameplay loop
Although that would desperately need to include right-brained content.
A long time ago I brought up the need for a media kit (press kit).
I need to know how to describe the game, the goals, the features, etc. The vision book is inaccessible to passive interest and is too verbose anyway. I'm pretty sure the dozens of people I've talked to dropped by, couldn't figure anything out, and left.
In some places I can't link to things for fear of being flagged for spam. At least I can call it em8er for people to search for, although emeighter is a strange name to people. emdasheighter is worse.
The front page doesn't have anything at all, and isn't some of that art wrong? People sit there to see text appear, and I know people won't have the patience for that. Few people will see the links at the bottom, not that special media has any real substance. Some people might see the links at the top. Smart people will click the FAQ. Some of those will see Jun 14, 2017 and not scroll to see the date of last edit. They might think the last update this game has seen was mid 2017. Even I was frustrated by having to click and open a spoiler tag.
The language therein is too verbose.
It is:
Em-8er is a mech verses Kaiju Action-MMO. In other words: Em-8ER is a multiplayer, open world, co-op shooter that pits players against a ruthless, shape-shifting, alien army we call Shifters (known as Tsi-Hu in their alien language). The game is a simulated war where massive battles ebb and flow across the planets surface. Hundreds of players will be fighting at any given time in skirmishes involving mechs, giant monsters, and military bases.
It is urgent to start with single line explanation of the fundamentals. I for one can know if the game is for me by the first sentence, and fluff angers me.
- EM-8ER is a PvE first-or-third person shooter MMO.
I'd normally suggest using "multiplayer" in order to get across "online", but that's covered with "MMO".
Stating PvE is important; it is a term of art necessary for players who want the distinction between PvP and PvE to be clear. I would have passed it it said PvP. I would have needed more information if I read PvPvE or something strange like "co-op", and being asked to do the investigation myself is risking a bookmark-and-forget.
First-or-third both explains and intrigues. The "or" tells people it's optional. Gameplay perspective is something I've been asked about, and describing it in this way has locked in attention.
It would be nice to say FPS, but that's first-person and so "shooter" has to be used.
MMO brings a lot of description and baggage with it. I'd like some way to talk about quests or the lack thereof. Maybe "questless MMO" if that's possible. Yes, I'd also use a made up word on purpose. MMO describes social aspects, and it's important to have a position on groups, guilds and social aspects. Those things would be nice to put in the description elsewhere.
There are two kinds of readers. The first is left-brained and wants the technical breakdown. Those people have been appeased and will forgive a line of "fluff". The right-brained people are by-default forgiving and will skim the sentence to read what they are interested in: The aesthetic and social aspects.
- EM-8ER is a PvE first-or-third person shooter MMO.
- It is a science fantasy open world where players cooperate to fight invading monsters on an alien world.
I have a writing cadence of short-long-short. I earned this complex sentence by starting off concise.
- EM-8ER is a PvE first-or-third person shooter MMO.
- It is a science fantasy open world where players cooperate to fight invading monsters on an alien world.
- Players craft and customize their equipment, building their favorite mobile suits or "frames".
This is still a long sentence, but I chunked it with the comma. Yes this stuff really does matter.
Left-brain will wonder if it is looter-shooter but will understand player economy. Right-brain will see customization and theme. I continue by addressing both. I intentionally mix because these two kinds of players must interact regularly and I set the stage right here.
I actually think the looter-shooter aspect of things really needs to be meditated upon. I've heard significant disappointment about a player-crafted economy. This would have to be justified at various angles, from auction houses to player interdependency. There are many solo players who just don't want to deal with humans outside of group-goals. This is a big problem and ought to be addressed in this paragraph. I simply omit the mention of trading to dodge addressing the problem here.
Saying "mobile suit" is another term of art for a lot of people. Some will read "mobile" as small-scale like an exoskeleton or body armor like Destiny or Halo. Others will read "mobile suit" as a phrase and think Gundam. Both are somewhat true. I think this covers the light/medium frames, but I worry something else has to written to hint at the heavy. I dislike giving new game-specific words to a reader, but I have earned adding the new term "frame" in the reader's mind. It's simple, the two kinds of readers can understand it well, and it creates a tether directly from the game term through the word into the reader's interest. The left-brained know they have arms and armor in a device they min-max and wield. The right-brained know they are a pilot inside a suit they can choose and customize. I'd like a way to more directly discuss pilot skin customization, but I won't do that right away. It's likely that the plural "frames" will pass over a reader's head unless they really wonder about it. I reward attentive readers.
- EM-8ER is a PvE first-or-third person shooter MMO.
- It is a science fantasy open world where players cooperate to fight invading monsters on an alien world.
- Players craft and customize their equipment, building their favorite mobile suits or "frames".
- The game is a simulated war where massive battles ebb and flow across the planet's surface.
That line is great. It teases both kinds of readers. I fixed the grammar.
- EM-8ER is a PvE first-or-third person shooter MMO.
- It is a science fantasy open world where players cooperate to fight invading monsters on an alien world.
- Players craft and customize their equipment, building their favorite mobile suits or "frames".
- The game is a simulated war where massive battles ebb and flow across the planet's surface.
- Play solo, in a group, or join hundreds of players in skirmishes involving mechs, giant monsters, and military bases.
This line was good, but I adapted it because after four sentences of description I will boldly assume the reader will become a player, speak directly to them, and tell them what they'd be doing.
I want to sneak in all kinds of things that describe the uniqueness of the game, but I can't be concise enough to do that. It becomes urgently necessary to VERY IMMEDIATELY show the skin muting concept. Immediately as in right next to this text! It would be a side-by-side of silly and sexy skins on the left, and moderate and themed skins on the right with something like "Don't like holiday hats? Mute your choice of skins to stay in a military themed game."
I think maybe a bulleted list would work well after the above paragraph. The technical-minded will love a quick breakdown of why the game would be different than all the rest.
- Craft and trade weapons and abilities.
- Create your unique loadout and play the way you want.
- Players around the world begin in different parts of a seamless scaled game world.
- Skin individual pieces of your pilot or frame.
- Mute skins you don't want to see. If you don't like silly skins, holiday hats or a plunging neckline, you can turn them off and "stay serious".
- Beautiful and still playable with moderate computers. (specs to be determined, but expect put stuff here - a 1060GT or etc, gb ram etc)
Note that some people think store skins are pay-to-win, but begrudgingly accept this revenue model. They don't forgive tradable skins though.
Lastly, and placed in a separate paragraph, would be another line discussing the meta. It will be perceived as a non-marketing speak line direct not from the developers of the game but the company underneath it. The goal is to be sincere and personable in a landscape where games are operated by greedy liars.
- EM-8ER will be "pay once then play free". It is supported by selling skins which have no gameplay influence, are not tradable and can still be earned in-game. It is not "pay to win", we will not sell "conveniences", or sell tokens for unlocked or enhanced gameplay. Finally, we will never have loot boxes; that is a despicable and predatory practice which is banned in sensible countries for good reason.
----
There is room for improvement, specifically by breaking down the purposes of each sentences and making sure the gameplay loop is described and sufficient tesing has been done. So it would be something like:
- Game classification
- Game genre
- Player interaction with the game
- Solo player value
- Group player value
- Game uniqueness
- Gameplay loop
Although that would desperately need to include right-brained content.
