"Children are like Nick Cotton from Eastenders. They betray you and then come back a few months later and convince you they've changed. It's easy to forgive them because they're such good liars, but eventually they will try to kill you with poisoned yogurt."
“Ultimately, I just don’t think we can have a meaningful debate in this country about reforming the system of Rover 200 purchasing while Sir David Attenborough is still alive.”
